As always, this is as good as it's gonna get.

There are so many movies and TV shows out there that I want to watch but then I remember that I am a baby and can’t handle anything the least bit scary, suspenseful or thrilling. 


@smrtgrls Smart Girl at the #Emmys2014!
 Smart Girl at the !
I’m scared to be an uncertainty,
I regret that I am not fire.
Alexander Vvedensky  (via lonehands)

roughness:

tune in tonight for another episode of “is he cute or just tall? am I lowering my standards out of desperation? am I doomed to roam the earth as a lonely, unloved wretch for eternity? would I fuck a 30 year old? would I fuck a broke 30 year old?”

cuntgradulation:

thanks mom

cuntgradulation:

thanks mom

foulmouthedliberty:

sodomymcscurvylegs:

Being an adult is realizing that $5,000 is a lot of money to owe and very little money to own.

this is real

ifunnyws:

Jonah Hill & Morgan Freeman